He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
soo... how was my night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
