I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
