How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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