I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Randomize
