A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize