i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
