I CAN MOONWALK!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All the doctor said was why
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
