I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
