just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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