oh god the rape fog is back!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
