Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
