I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
