The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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