And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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