I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
