why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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