I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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