You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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