I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize