God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
