Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This house was built for laser tag.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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