i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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