So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
