the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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