I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
