I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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