Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize