If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
