either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
