Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
