yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
