He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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