I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
