Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
