He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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