I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
