I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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