summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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