I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
