If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
