I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
