he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
