i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
