mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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