i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
