atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
