I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize