girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
