I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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