id be glad to
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
