if you like me you must not know who I am
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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