Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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