He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
