I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The struggles of a small town man whore
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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