i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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