We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
