So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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