Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
