hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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