You're completely useless in the revolution.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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