May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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