Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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