She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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