When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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