i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
