we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
