What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
