So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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