the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
