Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
