i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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