there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
