I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you would pick up someone in the library
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
