ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
