we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
