Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
