He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize