i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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