Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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