He felt like a one man threesome
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
