Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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